X her off.

dizzy dancing on foreign painkillers. its a horse race . its too blurry i cant tell who is winning. just a bunch of dust. and noise. this picture re-surfaced. she titled it cruel summer. my ex twinsister. I've done worse things to better people.

i am the victim and the murdererrrr

tea and cigarettes. and selling things like mad. and you showed up in my dream last night. alot. alot cherie. and then you call me . saying the same thing. lucid. lucy d. lsd. like. right. now. everything about you is perfect. except our. circumstance. not so much distance. as. the situation itself. i notice your absence though. its noticable. to me. cry yourself to sleep.over it. little bee. regardless. im obsessed with my own romantic illusions. im veryyyy into the idea of spending time in barcelona. this fall. very very. after all the business is taken care of. and theres alot of business going on. but no rush. no. very laxx. is how i like it. but im deeply depressed , on a functional level. and i miss how the strawberries smell . and the juicy watermelons. . . i got celebrity sighted . Z-list or what . underground diva starlet that i am. im so grateful for the tragedies. forever. they are presents. little secret presents in disguise. GRATEFUL. .oh. london with miss diamond is also on the menu. its been too long. since i was born and since the explosions. years ago.

hit me when you want to.

i tied up a black rose THING around my arm. and dreamt fucked up shit. i think i unintentionally offered myself to the deathlings. for my grandma came on a bus and said no you cant come yet. and then this huuuge garden covered in little snow hills with candles, and crosses, and all kinds of alters and occult shit. then i woke up at 3 am and puked my LIFE out. and everything turned black. with mine self passsssing out. and waking up at mount sainai emerge. they brought me back to life and pumped my tummy from whatever made me sick. 3 hours later i was at work. and hanging out with my ken doll patient. he swears at me and says the most vulgar things i have ever heard spoken.. oh. HE HAPPENS TO BE A FAMOUS WRITER. HE WROTE THE SCREENPLAY FOR PIPPI LONGSTOCKINGGGG. AND THE CARE BEARS, AND CLIFFORD the red dog thing. and AND a bunch more. he is my little celebrity brain. im going to name my childrens pippilotte and maxx. . maxx trauma is going to be so badassss.. im selling everything i own. and going on more travels. this shit here mostly bores me. all the friends and enemies. YAWN.

shadows of the sun

heres what.

harsh are the terms of your sentence.

THUS. i will sleep. what unwelcome unhoeflichkeit. CUSTOMS CANADA IS A RUDE COLLECTIVE. i got mega searched. the men saw all my SHOES. and bags. and leather jackets. i denied their value. BUT THEY CHECKED THE INTERNETS. i danced and sang lola lola lolaaaaa. while they tortured me. HOWEVER. ewan mcgregor entertained me polanski style. so i denied myself the sleeep in my emergency exit seat. the last weeek in muenchen was ultra fabelhaft. and i spent every second with the fun ones. miss diamond. my soulmate girl piece. and i saw the nuss one last time. he is heart broken. but he bought sausages and beer. which i fed to him and to me. to US. in a chic bavarian establishment.. and there was lots of lovin. and romance . involved. now. i will not pine. for i am ABOVE THAT. instead i will go back soooooon so me and miss diamond can finish her sexy book together. i dont hate this land. but i dont exactly heart it to the max either. ITS JUST ALL WRONG.. gather your garters and dance. i have walnut shnapps to DO me in. and messages from beligians. GUILT GUILT. GUILT???????????? NICHT WAR.??

what. fun. used. to. be. what. you . used. to . be.

no excuses for the bruises.

slightly sour . burned soles. pavement hot. ante cancelled our night swimming date . i was crushhhed as i counted the hours. alas. i played drinking games with the belgians again. but they all vibed evil cuz i sexed one of them and now the whole lot switched gears against me. got driven to zrce. ditched them in papaya. I HATE PAPAYA. manhands all over me as i danced to shittttty techno shit. i ran away and towards the water. and into my hippie friends from zagreb. we climbed up to aquarius. and i lost my flip flops. tho i am an accustomed barefoot beetle as all my shoes have betrayed me long time . i miss myself. going to beachland all day like the mermaid recluse that i am. its hard cuz the ultragay boy in town is obsessed with me. and keeping impressive tabs on my island activity. he konws when i come home, with whooooooooooo, and where i go adn who i drank with and the shit i say.. the sun came up and we hitchhiked/walked home and i realized i have not slept in days. i miss pupak and alexandros. it pains me.